What the F*ck is Funfulness? Amy Polly on Mindfulness That Actually Works

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>> Amy Polly: This year is the year that I am going to create programmes for people

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who are neurodivergent to be able to practise this shit because it's literally changed

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my life.

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>> Wo0: Welcome to Don't Fucking Tell Me what to Wear or How

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to Run My Business. This is the

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Woopod.

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>> Amy Polly: It's helped me to understand when I'm being a fucking asshole. It's helped me to understand with

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someone else is being an asshole and to be able to manage the fucking

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relentlessness that is life. But, you don't have to practise it by

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sitting in silence for 20 fucking minutes a day.

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>> Wo0: I need you in my life so much more.

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>> Buckers: I love you so much.

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>> Wo0: I'm your host, Wendy Gannon, but most people call me Woo.

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I'm a photographer, adhder, female advocate,

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and let's be honest, an all round legend.

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Can you tell I didn't write this script?

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This podcast is part of Female5Million, a

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movement founded to empower women to step the fuck up,

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take control and unapologetically own their

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space. It all started

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with some fucking Jebin's LinkedIn post,

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specifically spouting some sexist bullshit about how women should dress

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to succeed in business. And you know what?

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Stuff like that really me

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off. It really me off.

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So I posted about it and, that post ignited something

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bigger. a nationwide photography project, a full

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blown movement. And now this podcast

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here on the Woo Pod, we're raising the voices of women who refuse

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to be told what to do. Women who are done playing by the

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rules and are now saying, don't tell me what to wear or how to

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run my business. If you've ever been told to tone it

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down, dress more appropriately or run your business

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like a man, fuck that.

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Expect raw, unfiltered conversations with women who

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have fought through sexism, abuse and outdated,

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patriarchal to build success on their terms.

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all whilst wearing whatever the fuck they want.

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Oh, and there's more swearing than our producer is willing to

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beep out. Sorry, Buckers. Speaking of

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which, you'll probably hear me ask producer Buckers to chime

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in from time to time, because like I give a shit

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what she says. We've both got adhd. We bounce well off each

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other. Deal with it. We're here

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to celebrate women doing business their way and shine a spotlight

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on the incredible ways women are fighting back and lifting each other

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up. Because, to be honest, that's what it's all about.

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And for those who aren't able to speak up right now, for

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whatever reason, I see you.

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Okay, let's crack on then.

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Hi, and, welcome to the Woo Pod. And

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it's the Don't Tell Me what to wear or how to run my business

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series. We are joined by

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Buckers and Amy

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Polly.

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>> Amy Polly: Hi, Amy Polly. We're so

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giggling already.

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>> Wo0: I love you so much. so, Amy Polly, I

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would like you to introduce yourself, please.

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>> Amy Polly: Hello. I'm going to try. I'm taking a deep breath

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because when me and Wendy get together,

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Absolute God.

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>> Wo0: All three of us. All three of us are ODA

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or like, we're screwed.

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>> Amy Polly: Hello, my name's Amy Polly.

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I love us. I am, an international

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TEDx speaker,

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a mindfulness teacher. And

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I created a concept called

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Mindfulness because I don't think mindfulness

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is accessible and inclusive to all.

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And I go out and teach people in the corporate settings. I go

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into schools, and I talk about wellbeing, I talk about

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adhd, and I talk about mindfulness.

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>> Wo0: In fun and in pink.

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>> Buckers: Can you imagine Amy walking into your

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school?

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>> Amy Polly: I have a full to do a tour. I have a full cartoon

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tracksuit that I wear when I go into schools. That's my.

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>> Buckers: Yeah, you just. You'd be over the moon,

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wouldn't you, as a kid?

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>> Wo0: So, Amy, we're going to talk a little bit more about your

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fomfulness later. But what made you

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get involved with female 5 William?

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>> Amy Polly: You. Because you're awesome.

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>> Buckers: Funny how everyone says that, Wendy.

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>> Wo0: I'd pay them.

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>> Amy Polly: We've all just been in situations

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where somebody. And, look, it

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doesn't matter about gender. Like, somebody has put us

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down and we all get that fire in our belly

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that's like, no. Am I allowed to swear?

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>> Wo0: Yeah, it was just my podcast.

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>> Buckers: Do you want to rethink that?

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>> Amy Polly: No. And I think it's just that, fuck you energy. I feel

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like so many times in life you don't get

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to, like, put that out there. You feel it.

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And you literally gave us an invitation

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to put it out there and to live it. And so I think

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that's what the thing was. It's like, oh, we get to actually

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say fuck you to something that we are not happy

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with. Let's go fucking.

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>> Wo0: Yeah. I love it.

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>> Buckers: So well put.

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>> Wo0: And so you and I went and we did,

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a shoot on our own. You weren't involved in the studio stuff.

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You were one of the features.

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Although everybody's featured now. Like, everyone's got their

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own page. Can you tell me how

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that was?

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>> Amy Polly: Oh, I thought we had a lovely time, didn't We. I

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absolutely loved it. It was

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so empowering. I loved every

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second of it. And of course, you are just a dream

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to be photographed by. I

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loved all the light direction and the moving of the hands and the

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light.

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>> Wo0: Just do this, just do this. Just like

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what I'm. Like, do this.

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>> Amy Polly: Even down to the shouting across the

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street. Street from the guys working.

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It's just an experience, basically.

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and it felt very empowering. and I

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think that not. You give that to people, Wendy, but also

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just being in that situation where you're being completely

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yourself, you're wearing the thing that makes you feel good

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and like, I just felt great and I

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had a wonderful time. And then seeing the photos afterwards, I'm

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like, yeah, that's.

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>> Wo0: So good. And then, like, on the way back to the

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station, we met the coolest man

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who had, like, an estate agent,

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but it looked like a flower shop, like a plant

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shop. What was his name? Can you remember his name?

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No. No, we can't remember his name.

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So tell me about your funfulness, Amy.

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Polly.

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>> Amy Polly: Yeah, so, that's what I did my TEDX talk about. And

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it's. It was born. I actually can't even remember

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the moment that it sort of came to me because I've

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been working in the area of mindfulness, since. I mean,

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I've been teaching since 2019. I've been practising

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myself for, like, 13 years. And I just felt

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like it's very samey. There's a

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lot of people. And by the way, I always have to caveat that

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I'm not saying this isn't good or lovely or

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beneficial, but it's very

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samey. Like, you know, there's a lot of calm voices and

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floaty dresses and that is a big part of mindfulness. But

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for those of us who are neurodivergent, especially those of us who've got

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adhd, that sometimes just. Just doesn't

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feel doable for us. And I feel

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like it feels exclusive

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sometimes. and so as I've been

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working over the years and I've worked volunteering, for a local

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mental health charity. So people that are

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dealing with situations where they're not

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feeling mentally well and then going into schools

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and going into SEN schools and

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working with lots of different adults as well, I just

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realised that the reason that people took to my teaching was

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because I turned up the way that I am with you today. And

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I'm giddy and I'm loud and I'm excitable

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and I think that we really need to break the mould of what

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we see as a mindfulness teacher.

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and I think that funfulness just was born out of the

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fact that I want people to have fun. And I feel like people

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who are neurodivergent really can connect

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with the. The feeling of fun and joy in

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learning, because we need that. and so

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funfulness is literally

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mindfulness plus fun. So taking the

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elements and the principles of mindfulness, but

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making them fun. So using things

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like coloured bean bags and coloured hoops and

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Lego and all of that good stuff and active

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mindfulness to make it more accessible and more

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inclusive for people. Because at the end of the day, I want people

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to have a go and do it because it can really

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help.

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>> Wo0: I love that being. I don't know if

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anyone's noticed. No, I diverted myself.

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I loved two things about that. One is

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that you describe yourself as giddy and I

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describe myself as chaotic. do we each

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have a word for ourselves? Buckers, have you got

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a word for yourself?

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>> Buckers: I don't think there's one word that I use

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because I don't think. I don't think there's. I don't

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do anything. Consistently, I've described myself as

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scattered.

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>> Wo0: Scattered. There you go.

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>> Buckers: I suppose I use the term all over the place

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and I. It's always in a negative way, isn't it? And I. I

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noticed when Amy said giddy and I just thought that's such

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a naughty expression

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because it's really accurate, but it's that it actually doesn't have

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negative connotations. It actually sounds.

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>> Wo0: Yeah.

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>> Buckers: Like it's fun to be giddy, isn't it?

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>> Wo0: Look. I mean, look at her. It suits her down to the ground. It

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suits you too. Giddy doesn't suit me. Chaotic suits

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me 100.

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>> Amy Polly: I don't know. You make me giddy. I think you're a bit giddy.

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>> Wo0: and the other thing was when you said that,

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neurodivergent people, neurodiverse people.

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I never know how to say it. Neurodiverse

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people learn better with fun

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or whatever. You said I use fun a lot

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in helping people to relax and

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be themselves with my photo shoots. Right. So

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I. I think it's just a gift that we've got

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that we can use in anything. Just

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being ourselves and having fun and

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having, a good old jolly.

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>> Amy Polly: Audience behind it. If you are. If

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you're having fun, if you're in a

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moment of play or joy, you. You can't

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not be present because it's like a Flow state. You can't not be

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present when you are, having fun or when

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you're playing it, when you feel. And so that, for me, was

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like the. The cherry on top. Like, fun

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is good for you. It feels nice. But it

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literally is mindfulness in and of itself anyway, because

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you have to be present, and you'll know that from when you. You

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are shooting people. And, when

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they feel that joy, when they get into that moment of

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joyfulness, they're present.

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>> Wo0: Amy, would you be happy to talk about some of

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the negative, toxic men

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that you've experienced?

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>> Amy Polly: I would like to talk about it in general terms, I

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think, just because I feel like

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there's a lot of things I wouldn't want to call anyone out

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specifically. Do you know what I mean?

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>> Wo0: 100.

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>> Amy Polly: I mean, it's. Let's not beat around the bush. Everybody's

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gonna have. I think most women have

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a story they could tell.

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>> Wo0: Yeah. 100.

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you said something earlier that really

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made something I like,

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ignite. It was. What did you say

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when you said that? It's really difficult to talk about.

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>> Amy Polly: Yeah. I think that sometimes you. Well, this is how I

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feel anyway, and I'm just sort of hoping that other

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people feel the same. There's so much

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talk around feminism,

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toxic masculinity, and, there feels like somewhat

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of a divide. And I get

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scared sometimes about the

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language that I'm supposed to use, whether I'm saying

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or doing the right thing, because

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I know that I've had experiences, but I love.

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I love everyone. And, you know, I find it really

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difficult sometimes that, oh, my God, am I going to offend somebody if I

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talk about this because they were male? Am I going to

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offend somebody because I talk about this from a

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woman's perspective? I don't know. I see people

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online, and I feel like they're so confident to have these

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conversations, and I feel like I don't actually

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feel that confident. All I can speak is my truth. and I

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know I'm doing it from a good place, but I still get a little bit scared that I'm,

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like, gonna say the wrong thing or offend somebody, because it

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feels like such an emotional conversation the

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majority of the time.

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>> Wo0: Let me tell you a story of something that happened

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about two hours ago.

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We were recording the podcast with Jeremy Stockdale,

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and I was saying, like,

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God, I'm gonna. I said something.

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Buckers disagreed. I went back into

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myself, nearly crying because I thought that I'd said something

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stupid and everyone was gonna hate me. And then

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Jeremy was like, no. And I was like, just delete it. Just delete it.

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Just cut it out. And then they were both like, no,

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it's important. I. I felt like I couldn't get

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my words out, what I wanted to say. I

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also felt like, because I was kind of

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sticking up for men a little bit, that women were gonna hate me,

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but also. But I wasn't saying that men

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do. You know what I mean? So is that. Is that the kind

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of thing you mean?

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>> Amy Polly: Yeah. And I can see Buckers is nodding, so I'm presuming that she's

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putting the pieces together here for.

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>> Wo0: Yeah, she

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got so angry, she put her, hand on her.

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>> Buckers: Amy. I put my hand on my hip. But I

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actually think that the. The moment

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that Wendy's referring to is.

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Let's add some context. We were talking about how Wendy

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was saying she thinks it's quite difficult for men these days to be

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able to talk to women. And I instantly

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got on my high horse, and I was like, oh, no. Oh,

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what? Just because they've got to now think about how to speak

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respectfully to women. Oh, poor men. But

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I think what we were both saying, we're both saying

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that men now do have to.

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Do, have to put more thought into how they speak with women, and, that it's

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harder now for men to say the right thing. And

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I. And I do agree with what

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Wendy's saying. My point was, well, I don't care that it's hard

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for you. and I think actually,

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like, if. But. But the fact that you.

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You were concerned about how you were struggling to

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get your words out, I feel the same

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way about that as I feel about Amy, you

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saying that you don't feel that confident talking about this. Because

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I think it's really important to, acknowledge

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that we don't always feel really confident about what

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we're saying. And we know that we think something, and sometimes it's really

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difficult to articulate, and sometimes we're worried about how somebody else is

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going to perceive it. So we sort of, like, stumble on how.

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On. On how to say it and what. What the right word

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to use is. And

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basically, this is a really waffly way of me saying.

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I actually, I really respect. I respect

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both of you for. For saying something that you.

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You're not exactly sure about how to word it,

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and just being really upfront about the fact that, yeah, I've got some views on

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this, and I've got my own personal experiences, but I do

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struggle sometimes to have the confidence to talk about it in

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the same way that other people do. I think it's really

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natural to worry about whether you're going to offend people. And I think that just

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shows. That actually just shows that you're a nice person.

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>> Wo0: I didn't used to.

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>> Buckers: You're respectful. So

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basically, I don't know if I've made any kind of coherence.

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>> Wo0: Yes, you have, darling.

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>> Buckers: I think it' important. I. I really like the fact

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that we're kind of all acknowledging that we don't

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know, we're not always super confident

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in. You know, I have some. I have some things

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that I kind of go backwards and forwards with. And I. Well, I kind of think

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this. But then when you consider that it's also kind of this. And none of

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it.

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>> Wo0: No, none of it is simple.

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>> Buckers: None of it.

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>> Wo0: None of it's what I tend to do. If we're having

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a conversation with m somebody, no matter what their view

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is, even if my view is the same, I will

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kind of just play devil's advocate and be like, yeah, but

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what, have you thought about this? And, and

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because a lot of people's views. And this is also

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absolutely fine because, I don't know, some of my

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views are. So

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this is it. And that's final. That they

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haven't thought about anything or anyone else. I. I like.

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I do like to play devil's advocate. Just.

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Just to go you.

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>> Buckers: And I think that's. I don't know if you

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relate to this, Amy, but I feel like that's also a really

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neurodiverse trait.

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>> Amy Polly: Yeah.

Speaker: 00:16:40

>> Buckers: Because we've got very analytical minds. And, I think

Speaker: 00:16:43

it's. That's how we have great conversations. Right.

Speaker: 00:16:46

>> Amy Polly: By considering we think different, all of the

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viewpoints have those conversations. We also have that real justice

Speaker: 00:16:52

sensitivity. So we always feel like we need to stick up for

Speaker: 00:16:55

people. But my thing just to say about this is

Speaker: 00:16:58

that, you know, I grew up in a finance

Speaker: 00:17:01

background. I've been through some really toxic

Speaker: 00:17:03

relationships, abusive relationships,

Speaker: 00:17:07

you know, in my romantic life, I've had some really

Speaker: 00:17:09

crap experiences in my work life.

Speaker: 00:17:12

And they, you know, that is

Speaker: 00:17:15

from the opposite sex. But

Speaker: 00:17:18

I think that when we're talking about this, you

Speaker: 00:17:21

have to look at the statistics around, you know,

Speaker: 00:17:24

the. How many female founders there are, how

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many, you know, sort of violence there is towards women and all that. Like,

Speaker: 00:17:30

the statistics do not lie. So that just is what

Speaker: 00:17:33

it is. and then when we're talking about, you know,

Speaker: 00:17:36

female empowerment, like, there just is

Speaker: 00:17:38

inequality, there is a lack of equity

Speaker: 00:17:41

Particularly in the workplace, particularly in

Speaker: 00:17:44

entrepreneurship. And we've got all of these experiences

Speaker: 00:17:47

where we are walking around, you know,

Speaker: 00:17:49

fearful at a certain time of night and we have to think

Speaker: 00:17:52

about things a lot more than men. So like these are just

Speaker: 00:17:55

facts. It's not, it's not my opinion like that that's, that

Speaker: 00:17:58

just is what it is. How we then talk about

Speaker: 00:18:01

that and have the conversations, as a

Speaker: 00:18:04

whole is like this whole new world. Because

Speaker: 00:18:07

when I was growing up.

Speaker: 00:18:11

I love that song. but we just weren't having this

Speaker: 00:18:13

conversation. It's just, it's different now and so the

Speaker: 00:18:16

conversations are different and people like

Speaker: 00:18:19

my parents age, my dad will not get

Speaker: 00:18:22

it like it just is. But we

Speaker: 00:18:25

can't keep harping back. We've got to think about how we're all going

Speaker: 00:18:28

to move forward together. and there's people smarter than me

Speaker: 00:18:30

fighting for this sort of stuff and for the world to

Speaker: 00:18:33

change. but we all know it. It's just that I think

Speaker: 00:18:36

that we don't always all have the language to be able to share

Speaker: 00:18:39

our experiences and what we want to see change. There's a lot of

Speaker: 00:18:42

people that do have that stuff.

Speaker: 00:18:44

>> Wo0: Yeah. And that, that's actually a really good point because

Speaker: 00:18:47

I don't need to be able to do it. Like I. We're doing

Speaker: 00:18:50

this, we're saying our views, but I don't need to have the

Speaker: 00:18:53

language of being educated to.

Speaker: 00:18:56

>> Amy Polly: Right.

Speaker: 00:18:57

>> Wo0: Yeah.

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>> Amy Polly: We do our part for ourselves and

Speaker: 00:19:00

challenging behaviour that is not acceptable and

Speaker: 00:19:03

we're doing that in our life and we're having these conversations and

Speaker: 00:19:06

even if my dad doesn't want to listen, I still have the conversations

Speaker: 00:19:09

with him about mental health, about, you know,

Speaker: 00:19:12

female empowerment, about adhd. If it goes

Speaker: 00:19:15

nowhere, it goes nowhere. But I feel confident that

Speaker: 00:19:17

I'm having the conversation that you've done your part.

Speaker: 00:19:19

>> Wo0: Yeah.

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>> Amy Polly: The behaviour where I need to do it in my

Speaker: 00:19:23

home, in my work and in my life and

Speaker: 00:19:25

sometimes that is the best thing that we can do.

Speaker: 00:19:28

Especially if we're scared about saying it. Like in the

Speaker: 00:19:31

big wide world.

Speaker: 00:19:33

>> Wo0: Yeah, 100%. have you got any positive

Speaker: 00:19:35

examples of mention and you their support?

Speaker: 00:19:38

>> Amy Polly: Yeah, loads. I mean, when I was in the fire

Speaker: 00:19:41

service it was a very male dominated environment

Speaker: 00:19:44

and like I would say that

Speaker: 00:19:47

two of the most senior people in the organisation

Speaker: 00:19:50

literally had my back no matter what.

Speaker: 00:19:54

And I never felt like there was a

Speaker: 00:19:56

question between like as them. But

Speaker: 00:19:59

then I've had men in the

Speaker: 00:20:02

workplace that have giving me shit

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for how my nails are painted. Or what I'm wearing

Speaker: 00:20:08

or tried to belittle me in a meeting

Speaker: 00:20:11

because of, some, I don't know, feeling that they've got,

Speaker: 00:20:14

that they need to feel more empowered. So I just feel like

Speaker: 00:20:17

I've had some really shit experiences, but I've

Speaker: 00:20:20

also had some amazing experiences where men have literally

Speaker: 00:20:23

put me in front of people that I need to be

Speaker: 00:20:26

in front of as well. So really it comes down

Speaker: 00:20:29

to making sure that that message and

Speaker: 00:20:32

those people are educating and teaching the

Speaker: 00:20:35

boys, of which I've got one, who is six in

Speaker: 00:20:37

our life, to make sure that that is the

Speaker: 00:20:40

overarching message that we continue to put out

Speaker: 00:20:43

there and that we support each other no matter who you are or

Speaker: 00:20:46

what you do. so, yeah, sorry, that was a

Speaker: 00:20:49

really long way of saying, yeah.

Speaker: 00:20:52

>> Wo0: Brilliant.

Speaker: 00:20:56

How long have you worked for yourself?

Speaker: 00:20:58

>> Amy Polly: Three years.

Speaker: 00:21:01

>> Wo0: What do you wish that you'd known about being a woman

Speaker: 00:21:04

in business before you started?

Speaker: 00:21:05

>> Amy Polly: It's really fucking hard.

Speaker: 00:21:09

And it's funny because things are going to be changing for me

Speaker: 00:21:12

soon. because I've always said it all along, you

Speaker: 00:21:15

know, I love what I do. I've loved the flexibility,

Speaker: 00:21:17

I've been around for my kid, but I have been

Speaker: 00:21:21

fucking stressed a lot of the time because it is relentless. And

Speaker: 00:21:24

you'll know this as well. You, we have

Speaker: 00:21:27

very short attention spans. You, if you're not putting yourself

Speaker: 00:21:30

out there, you're easily forgotten, especially in the work that

Speaker: 00:21:33

we do. You know, I'm not belittling. I used to be in

Speaker: 00:21:36

finance. I was an accountant, but everybody needs an accountant.

Speaker: 00:21:38

Not everybody always needs to look after their well being. They do, but you know what

Speaker: 00:21:41

I'm saying.

Speaker: 00:21:42

>> Wo0: Yeah, Like I am, like I am a, luxury.

Speaker: 00:21:46

Yeah, I am.

Speaker: 00:21:46

>> Amy Polly: Yes. Yeah. And so I think that in

Speaker: 00:21:49

every sense of the word, yes, she

Speaker: 00:21:52

is. I think that

Speaker: 00:21:55

there is more now than even three years

Speaker: 00:21:58

ago. When I first started, when I first started three years ago,

Speaker: 00:22:01

it felt very glamorised and the coaching

Speaker: 00:22:04

industry was booming. I'm not a coach, but that was booming.

Speaker: 00:22:07

The social media influencer world is

Speaker: 00:22:10

booming. And so it was very glamorised. And I think now it's

Speaker: 00:22:13

starting, that's starting to slow down a bit. And you're seeing more

Speaker: 00:22:16

people on LinkedIn, on Instagram, saying, this is really fucking

Speaker: 00:22:19

hard. And, and it's hard a lot of the time,

Speaker: 00:22:22

but most of the time

Speaker: 00:22:25

the delivery of what you do because you're doing something you

Speaker: 00:22:28

fucking love, because there's no way you'd run a business if you didn't love it because it's so hard.

Speaker: 00:22:31

So the delivery of what you do and seeing those light bulb

Speaker: 00:22:34

moments keeps you fucking going.

Speaker: 00:22:36

>> Wo0: Oh, absolutely. It's really

Speaker: 00:22:38

hard. And I'm very open with how hard.

Speaker: 00:22:41

Like when I'm struggling on LinkedIn, I'm very

Speaker: 00:22:44

open about it. Like, I think it was last

Speaker: 00:22:47

June, May, June. I

Speaker: 00:22:50

hadn't sold anything for like

Speaker: 00:22:53

two months. It was, it

Speaker: 00:22:56

was really. I had to, borrow money to pay my

Speaker: 00:22:59

rent. Everyone thinks that it's all,

Speaker: 00:23:01

all bloody brilliant and sunshine and

Speaker: 00:23:04

roses. I hadn't sold anything

Speaker: 00:23:08

because I was so busy. I hadn't done

Speaker: 00:23:11

the other work, right. So I ended up with

Speaker: 00:23:14

nothing. And I put a post up

Speaker: 00:23:16

going, hey, I'm

Speaker: 00:23:19

skin. There's literally

Speaker: 00:23:22

everybody, everybody's talking to me and saying, this is the same thing.

Speaker: 00:23:25

No one's got any work. What's going on? And that was

Speaker: 00:23:28

one of my best posts because everyone was like, thank fuck someone said it.

Speaker: 00:23:31

Like, I thought I was alone and I thought I was

Speaker: 00:23:34

shit at my job

Speaker: 00:23:37

also. It's really fucking lonely at the beginning.

Speaker: 00:23:40

It's really fucking lonely and people are.

Speaker: 00:23:42

>> Amy Polly: Like, you're doing what right?

Speaker: 00:23:46

>> Wo0: I mean, m. I had a couple of my friends,

Speaker: 00:23:50

say to me after I'd started, after I'd

Speaker: 00:23:52

been successful, we nearly sat

Speaker: 00:23:55

you down and told you that doing your photography full time was a

Speaker: 00:23:58

mistake.

Speaker: 00:24:01

And I was like, I'm very happy you didn't do that because

Speaker: 00:24:04

I don't think we'd be friends anymore.

Speaker: 00:24:07

>> Amy Polly: Yeah, I think I'm so glad that I've. That I did it. Like,

Speaker: 00:24:09

it's been really hard, but I'm just of the

Speaker: 00:24:12

mindset that, if I didn't try, then I would never have known.

Speaker: 00:24:15

And so whatever happened, I'm just glad that I fucking did

Speaker: 00:24:18

it. and it does mean that I spent more time with my kids. But I think, you know,

Speaker: 00:24:21

when we're talking about the male, female divide,

Speaker: 00:24:24

there is no getting away from the fact that a lot of the childcare

Speaker: 00:24:27

does still fall to women. And I think

Speaker: 00:24:30

that I'm so lucky that I Co parent 50,

Speaker: 00:24:32

50. But those weeks that I have my child,

Speaker: 00:24:35

I'm essentially a single mum, because I've got him, like on

Speaker: 00:24:38

my own, because then he goes to his dad's for a week.

Speaker: 00:24:41

So, I do. I have that time divided 50,

Speaker: 00:24:43

50. But when you have to have the school

Speaker: 00:24:46

run and entertain a six year old and think about lunch and think

Speaker: 00:24:49

about school and think about all the things you need for that and

Speaker: 00:24:52

Then you need to think about entertainment at the weekend. And I'm supposed to be

Speaker: 00:24:55

doing my admin and my invoicing and doing my social

Speaker: 00:24:58

media and. And delivery of my work. Like, it's a

Speaker: 00:25:01

lot. It is a lot. and, you know,

Speaker: 00:25:04

whoever is the main, you know,

Speaker: 00:25:07

child care provider in the relationship, it

Speaker: 00:25:09

doesn't really matter if you're trying to run a business as well. It's a

Speaker: 00:25:12

lot.

Speaker: 00:25:13

>> Wo0: It's a lot when your kid's 25 and they look after

Speaker: 00:25:16

themselves. I don't even fucking

Speaker: 00:25:19

live with you. It's a lot. I want to

Speaker: 00:25:21

circle back a little bit to when you were talking

Speaker: 00:25:24

about swaying skirts and

Speaker: 00:25:27

mindfulness being this

Speaker: 00:25:30

big thing, and it's not for us. It's not for

Speaker: 00:25:33

us. I can't do it. Have you tried

Speaker: 00:25:36

meditating for your adhd? Yes.

Speaker: 00:25:39

yes, I have. I can't

Speaker: 00:25:42

do it. Also, I can't see pictures in my head,

Speaker: 00:25:45

which is weird, as I'm a photographer. I can't.

Speaker: 00:25:48

I literally can't see. There's nothing there. I've just got

Speaker: 00:25:51

the narration. There's no pictures. So

Speaker: 00:25:53

when they're like,

Speaker: 00:25:56

it's so. It's mad. Right? I went to. So

Speaker: 00:25:59

Michelle Hartley, Love, you, did, did a.

Speaker: 00:26:03

A conference thing, and somebody was. Did a talk on that.

Speaker: 00:26:06

I can't remember what it's called because I've got adhd.

Speaker: 00:26:09

She said, like, everybody, put your hand up if you can see pictures

Speaker: 00:26:12

in your head. And then she put

Speaker: 00:26:15

Sidebar. Then she put, like, pictures of apples. So there was

Speaker: 00:26:18

an apple that was just a full apple. Then there was a black and

Speaker: 00:26:21

white, then there was an outline of an apple. Then

Speaker: 00:26:23

there was, like, just a shadow of an apple or something. And then there

Speaker: 00:26:26

was nothing. And, she was like, who can see this first

Speaker: 00:26:29

one? And loads of people put their hand up. And as it went on,

Speaker: 00:26:32

fewer people put their hand up. And I think there were three of us in the

Speaker: 00:26:35

room that couldn't see anything. And she was like,

Speaker: 00:26:39

you fucking slay. I was working

Speaker: 00:26:42

at that time, but I was standing in the back of the room, put my hand up.

Speaker: 00:26:44

>> Amy Polly: That's me.

Speaker: 00:26:45

>> Wo0: It's so interesting. And, like, I could

Speaker: 00:26:48

talk about this all day.

Speaker: 00:26:52

>> Amy Polly: It'S the literal understanding that we

Speaker: 00:26:55

are all different. So whether it's neurodivergence or it doesn't

Speaker: 00:26:58

matter. I've been in a room where I'm teaching mindfulness

Speaker: 00:27:00

and someone has, epilepsy. So they can't close their

Speaker: 00:27:03

eyes to meditate. It doesn't matter, because there are things that

Speaker: 00:27:06

we can do to adapt to that. And it's the same for you. I'm

Speaker: 00:27:09

fucked if I'm having you saying I can't meditate, because I am

Speaker: 00:27:12

going to get you to meditate because there will be something

Speaker: 00:27:15

that I can do. I'm not going to do a visualisation of you that's not

Speaker: 00:27:17

categorically in mindful meditation anyway. But there is

Speaker: 00:27:20

something that I would be able to do with you that is practising

Speaker: 00:27:23

mindfulness. That isn't necessarily

Speaker: 00:27:25

meditating. Sitting in silence, focusing on the breath,

Speaker: 00:27:28

whatever it is.

Speaker: 00:27:29

>> Wo0: I, I. To be

Speaker: 00:27:32

fair, I worked with Dion Slater, to do some,

Speaker: 00:27:34

rapid transformation therapy. So it's like hypnotism stuff.

Speaker: 00:27:38

And then she had. And then she gives you, like,

Speaker: 00:27:41

you have to listen to something, for

Speaker: 00:27:44

21 days, whatever. I still listen to it now, but

Speaker: 00:27:47

through practise and her telling me

Speaker: 00:27:50

exactly what to do and relax and stuff like that,

Speaker: 00:27:53

I can, I can kind of do it. Like, it's got to be guided

Speaker: 00:27:56

and. But even then I'm like. But even then I'm like,

Speaker: 00:28:00

that's.

Speaker: 00:28:00

>> Amy Polly: Because we've been led to believe. Sorry, I'm going. Look, I'm going into it now.

Speaker: 00:28:03

But that's because if you

Speaker: 00:28:06

practise mindfulness slash meditation, not the same thing,

Speaker: 00:28:08

FYI, if you practise that, you're going to be sitting still,

Speaker: 00:28:12

you're going to be calm, you're going to be quiet. Who said

Speaker: 00:28:14

that? Like, I just. That's the

Speaker: 00:28:17

absolute essence of mindfulness, is being aware. You

Speaker: 00:28:20

are allowed to fidget and be aware that you are thinking a thought.

Speaker: 00:28:23

You're allowed to fidget and be aware of your breathing. It

Speaker: 00:28:26

doesn't mean you have to be like a statue. That it just.

Speaker: 00:28:29

That's just so unhelpful. And so that's why

Speaker: 00:28:32

I wanted to create something new, because people don't want to listen if I

Speaker: 00:28:35

say mindfulness. Especially if you're neurodivergent, people will run the other

Speaker: 00:28:38

direction.

Speaker: 00:28:38

>> Wo0: Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: 00:28:39

>> Amy Polly: 100% passion. And this year is the year that

Speaker: 00:28:42

I am going to create programmes for people who are neurodivergent to be able

Speaker: 00:28:45

to practise this shit, because it's literally changed my life. It's helped

Speaker: 00:28:48

me to understand when I'm being a fucking asshole. It's helped me to understand with

Speaker: 00:28:51

someone else who's being an asshole and to be able to manage the

Speaker: 00:28:53

fucking relentlessness that is life. But, you

Speaker: 00:28:56

don't have to practise it. By sitting in silence for 20 fucking minutes a day.

Speaker: 00:28:59

>> Wo0: I need you in my life so much more.

Speaker: 00:29:02

>> Buckers: I love you so much.

Speaker: 00:29:04

>> Wo0: I guess like going for a drive is mindfulness, right?

Speaker: 00:29:07

>> Amy Polly: Yeah. You can't be doing anything. Well, you can, your mind can wander, so

Speaker: 00:29:10

it's not, it's not. But if you're driving, right,

Speaker: 00:29:12

just notice the things around you. So as you're

Speaker: 00:29:15

driving along, say to yourself, give way sign,

Speaker: 00:29:18

pink car, green grass

Speaker: 00:29:21

road, red car, stop sign.

Speaker: 00:29:24

As you're doing that, that is mindfulness. Because you are literally

Speaker: 00:29:27

not running away with thoughts. Your mind isn't going elsewhere.

Speaker: 00:29:30

you are just present with that one thing that you're doing. That's

Speaker: 00:29:33

my.

Speaker: 00:29:33

>> Wo0: Okay.

Speaker: 00:29:35

>> Amy Polly: Okay.

Speaker: 00:29:37

>> Buckers: Do you know what I've started doing as well? You know, people talk about journaling

Speaker: 00:29:40

and I know that there's like, I know that journaling is

Speaker: 00:29:43

like really the people who love it, bloody love it

Speaker: 00:29:46

and can't get enough of it. Great. I've tried it a few times

Speaker: 00:29:49

and when I'm able to concentrate on it and I've got

Speaker: 00:29:52

a completely silent room and I'm able to

Speaker: 00:29:55

like actually get in flow fine,

Speaker: 00:29:58

but that's very rare and I can't stay consistent with

Speaker: 00:30:00

it. What I've started doing now is doing like little brain dumps

Speaker: 00:30:03

onto a voice.

Speaker: 00:30:04

>> Wo0: Yes.

Speaker: 00:30:05

>> Buckers: Recorder. as I'm moving because

Speaker: 00:30:07

I can't, I'm weird, I can't voice note if I'm sat down. Like

Speaker: 00:30:10

if I, if I'm sat at my desk and someone sends me a voice note, I

Speaker: 00:30:13

can't reply to it with voice. I have to reply, like

Speaker: 00:30:16

manually. But if I'm on a walk or if

Speaker: 00:30:19

I'm driving, if I'm physically in motion,

Speaker: 00:30:22

then I can, I can talk. Today

Speaker: 00:30:25

I drove, I drove home

Speaker: 00:30:28

from, I drove home from Cornwall yesterday.

Speaker: 00:30:31

I had a five and a half hour drive in the car. I started getting all

Speaker: 00:30:33

of these ideas, ideas about work, ideas about like

Speaker: 00:30:36

my 20, 25,

Speaker: 00:30:39

intentions and ambitions because I don't like calling them

Speaker: 00:30:41

goals, too much pressure.

Speaker: 00:30:45

Ideas, for new podcast ideas. I was just

Speaker: 00:30:48

recording little voice notes to myself. One of them, I went on

Speaker: 00:30:50

for 40 minutes just talking about

Speaker: 00:30:53

all these reflections I'd had. After a week by

Speaker: 00:30:56

myself by the seaside because I was house sitting for someone,

Speaker: 00:30:59

you can tell I'd had a week on my own. But I just thought to myself,

Speaker: 00:31:02

this is, this is journaling, this is letting

Speaker: 00:31:05

your thoughts run away, not self editing. Because when

Speaker: 00:31:08

I'm writing I will then get really.

Speaker: 00:31:10

>> Wo0: Yeah.

Speaker: 00:31:11

>> Buckers: About what Words I'm using and I just. I'm like, oh, but what if I read

Speaker: 00:31:14

this back and it sounds. Whereas when you're.

Speaker: 00:31:15

>> Wo0: What if someone sees it?

Speaker: 00:31:17

>> Buckers: It feels so much more. Yeah, it feels so much

Speaker: 00:31:20

more kind of, of the

Speaker: 00:31:22

moment and you're in. Yeah, exactly. You're

Speaker: 00:31:25

really present and in flow. And I was saying things.

Speaker: 00:31:28

I was even impressing myself as I was saying them was o. I didn't know

Speaker: 00:31:31

I could think that.

Speaker: 00:31:32

>> Wo0: Thought that.

Speaker: 00:31:34

>> Buckers: Oh, my God, I'm so freaking enlightened right

Speaker: 00:31:36

now. And I just thought that's actually. That's journaling.

Speaker: 00:31:40

And I'm going to start. I'm going to try and start doing it more.

Speaker: 00:31:42

>> Wo0: Will you ever listen to that 40 minute one back.

Speaker: 00:31:44

>> Buckers: I tell you what I'll do with it, Wendy. I will transcribe it.

Speaker: 00:31:47

I'll put it into Chat GPT and say, can you summarise my

Speaker: 00:31:49

thoughts, please, and organise them for me?

Speaker: 00:31:52

>> Wo0: Yeah.

Speaker: 00:31:53

>> Buckers: Oh, God.

Speaker: 00:31:55

>> Wo0: AI. Lovely.

Speaker: 00:31:58

>> Amy Polly: Again, that is about preferences. People

Speaker: 00:32:01

call them like reasonable adjustments. Well, what's reasonable to

Speaker: 00:32:04

one person isn't reasonable to another. And adjustments, like, it's just

Speaker: 00:32:07

a preference. So your preference for journaling

Speaker: 00:32:09

is by voice, like, why are we making it so

Speaker: 00:32:12

like. Oh, my God.

Speaker: 00:32:14

>> Wo0: Rigid.

Speaker: 00:32:16

>> Buckers: There doesn't need to be like the.

Speaker: 00:32:18

>> Amy Polly: Yeah, right, yeah.

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>> Buckers: You see the videos on Instagram, don't you, of the, like,

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lighting your candle and getting your

Speaker: 00:32:27

green tea down, Putting your

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boring music down and they're getting your, like, beautiful journal.

Speaker: 00:32:33

I think.

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>> Wo0: No, what I would be doing. No, what I'd be

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doing is I would have some dirty drum and

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bass on. I just. I'll just. I'll just be having

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a little bop around going, I'd

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probably MC it onto my voice note. That's what I'd

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do.

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>> Amy Polly: Why not, right? Who is. Who's told us that

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that is the way to do things? And don't get me wrong, right, I love

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a cup of cacao, I love a bit of incense going on.

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Some days I'm really like, none of that for me.

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But sometimes it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Whatever

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works for you. But just please, world,

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don't tell me that there is one way to do

Speaker: 00:33:09

these things and that's the route that's been put out on social media.

Speaker: 00:33:12

And in the media there's different ways to do this and we

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need to start getting that, like in schools, to our kids, to

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neurodivergent people and just allowing people to experience

Speaker: 00:33:20

this in a way that feels good for them because it's really

Speaker: 00:33:23

helpful. Like, it's so amazing. Mindfulness

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is amazing, but we're just not letting people do

Speaker: 00:33:29

it their way. And I. And that's what I'm here for.

Speaker: 00:33:32

>> Wo0: I fucking love you. Okay, one final question.

Speaker: 00:33:35

Amy. Polly, where's it gone?

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Oh, there it is.

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>> Amy Polly: Because you're so pretty, by the way.

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>> Wo0: She's beautiful, isn't she?

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>> Amy Polly: Fuck me.

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>> Buckers: I sat here thinking the same.

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>> Wo0: Thanks, Amy. Thanks, Beckers.

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Okay, last question.

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Can you tell us one piece of clothing.

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We know what you're gonna say. Or an outfit that makes

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you feel your most powerful, beautiful,

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especially for you.

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>> Amy Polly: This is the one that you photograph me at. so let

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me try and, let me try and describe it because my description's

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never going to do it justice. So everybody has to go and look at. Is it on

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YouTube yet? That's right, YouTube. So

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it is the brightest

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pink that your eyeballs could handle.

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And it is a full length

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tulle dress with

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extra tulle ruffles at the bottom,

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extra tulle poking out from the shoulders,

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and tulle flowers

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on the shoulders. And it is the

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most beautiful thing. And when I was with Wendy

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walking through London, I feel like one of the reasons, apart

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from it being so pink and bright and big

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and out there, is that it made people smile.

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And I don't care how wanky this sounds, I don't care what

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anybody thinks. This is my truth. I like making people

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smile to the world. Not with

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what I'm wearing, but that day it was with what I was wearing.

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And when we were walking through the tube and Wendy was there, she

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can attest to this. People just smiled at us or they giggled

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because I was like trying to grab it all up and not get.

Speaker: 00:35:11

>> Wo0: Caught in the escalated, I was screaming with

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laughter. She's like,

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she's like legs apart.

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I was trying to record it and I was like.

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It was. So you're trying to walk past and

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record people while they were to get the smile, but

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just couldn't get the.

Speaker: 00:35:32

>> Amy Polly: you said that to me at the time. You said, oh my goodness, we should. I wish we could

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get the behind the scenes of everybody walking past and smiling.

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And I think that's why, you know, I like wearing

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things that make me feel like a toddler. just

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go to the wardrobe and be like.

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And I think that that energy then, like, exudes to other people

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and especially like, this world can feel really tough sometimes. So when

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they saw a woman walking through the tube in this

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massive bright pink dress with a big smile on her face,

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loving life I think that that energy is contagious. So,

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yes, this makes me feel empowered and happy and lovely.

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Ah.

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>> Wo0: Love you.

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>> Buckers: It's so, stunning.

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>> Wo0: I love the bones of you. I love your soul. I

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love everything. Thank you so much for coming

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on to my podcast. I

Speaker: 00:36:16

can't wait for everybody to see the photos.

Speaker: 00:36:20

Yay.

Speaker: 00:36:23

That's it for today's episode of Don't Tell Me what to Wear

Speaker: 00:36:26

or How to run my business. On the Woopod with me, Wendy

Speaker: 00:36:29

Gannon. This is more than just a podcast. It's part

Speaker: 00:36:32

of female 5 million. Head to the link in the show notes

Speaker: 00:36:35

to find out more about our M Movement to empower women.

Speaker: 00:36:38

If this episode spoke to you in any way, made you laugh,

Speaker: 00:36:41

made you cry, or maybe it inspired you, share

Speaker: 00:36:44

it with a friend who needs to hear it. Leave us a rating and a

Speaker: 00:36:47

review, and let's keep this movement growing.

Speaker: 00:36:50

And while I've got you here, my photography is the way that

Speaker: 00:36:53

I fight back against the patriarchy. I. I empower

Speaker: 00:36:56

female founders with the confidence to be themselves in their business,

Speaker: 00:36:59

to really enjoy their photo shoot and actually

Speaker: 00:37:02

love their photos so then they can grow their business,

Speaker: 00:37:05

increase their prices, and get paid what they

Speaker: 00:37:07

deserve. If you want to work with me, drop

Speaker: 00:37:10

me a message. All the info you need to contact me is in the show

Speaker: 00:37:13

notes. Until next time, keep doing you.

Speaker: 00:37:16

And remember, you are part of something bigger.

Speaker: 00:37:19

>> Amy Polly: Bye.